Psychopathy and Sociopathy are pretty much the top 2 most serious mental disorders resulting in the highest level of criminal acts and associated with the most dangerously abusive relationship dynamics for those involved with an individual with either of these mental disorders.
The sad truth is that most of the red flags associated with such individuals go completely unnoticed by the average citizen in our society today. Learning some of the behavioral patterns and personality traits displayed by an individual who suffers from either of these mental disorders can go a long way in assisting you to identify the warning signs.
In general, here is a list of some of the main differences between the two types of mentally ill individuals:
The Psychopath
- Usually has a charming or alluring personality that easily draws people in. They appear to be extremely well-known and popular, social, and admired by others.
- This type of person is actually very open (even publicly so) about the fact that they are insecure. However, when they express this truth people are usually shocked because they actually appear to be very confident. This is because most people confuse healthy levels of confidence with the type of mindset which what I call “egotistical cowards” have. This is what I mean: A psychopath has a huge superiority complex and is so trapped in their own ego that they think that everything they think and believe to be true is, their way is the right way, and everyone else is wrong and stupid. Because they believe that they are innately “better than” others whom they just so happen to be outperforming at the current moment in any aspect or area of life (whether it be academically, professionally, relationship-wise, etc.), they also believe they should be treated as superior (i.e. worshipped in some way). Most people confuse this with confidence, but again there is a huge difference between a psychopathic mentality and true confidence.
- Loves to engage in puppet vs. puppet master – type dynamics or relationship patterns.
- Their only concern is to feel good, so you better make sure to only tell them what they want to hear. If you are authentic with them about something which you don’t like about them, they will resent, hate, and despise you for it. For example, let’s say you point out to them that something they said to you or some action they took towards you was extremely disrespectful and you don’t appreciate that and kindly ask them to stop (and not repeat the behavior again) because you are not okay with being treated that way. Unfortunately, this won’t go well with them. They don’t want to hear the truth if it hurts or causes them to feel bad about themselves. In fact, they don’t want to hear anything that would imply that they did something wrong or are in the wrong about something.
- They then go to work taking their hatred out on you for having expressed this to them by let’s say – going behind your back and telling your crush you have an STD.
- Domineering and sadistic behavior towards those of the opposite gender
- They are constantly engaging in passive aggressive behavior to harm people whom they feel hatred towards. If not that, they are straight up outwardly and maliciously committing dangerous and horrendously harmful acts of hatred towards them to destroy their lives in some way.
- They strategically surround themselves with super insecure people as an attempt to feel better about themselves and superior in comparison.
- Feel a desperate need to establish dominance over those around them. They do this by trying to appear and sound threatening in order to instill fear within people. This may come in the form of bullying, for instance, in the hopes that this will make people afraid of speaking up and to not dare to disobey their “authority”. They have an obsessive urge/impulse to belittle anyone – especially those of the same gender – whom they feel overpowered by in any way (i.e. appearance-wise, financially, status, etc.). They need to feel in power and control at all times. This particular behavior usually creates scenarios which are extremely gaslighting to people. Because on the one hand, they do not actually hold any power or authority over you, but on the other, their behavior has convinced your mind that they are the one in charge and the one whom you will have to answer to.
- To use an example, let’s say one of your colleagues is a psychopath. Instead of you answering to your actual boss or manager, you will find yourself having to answer to them instead. You will even watch your boss or manager beginning to answer to them as well. Pretty soon, nothing makes sense anymore. At this point, they have successfully accomplished making you just another one of their victims and your work atmosphere becomes so gaslighting that your only escape will be to leave and find another job.
- They pry on groups and large crowds of people by capitalizing on their insecurities and use this as a tactic to maintain their power as well. This usually shows up in the form of a psychopath with connections and access to wealth (whether they themselves are wealthy or not matters not) who will go in and target a low-income community containing a high level of economically disadvantaged population. They have learned over time, that these groups of people are much easier to abuse and control and that the chances of them being called out or “caught” are also much lower.
- They have adapted themselves in a way where they externally display all of the traits and characteristics which are most accepted by society. For example, in general, we don’t like people who lie, steal, or cheat, whom are mean and selfish and boring to be around. Therefore the fake façade they put out to the world is one of a god-sent angel who is compassionate, understanding, has high morals, and is super fun to be around. In fact, they have become so good at acting this role that they have completely lost touch with themselves and who they really truly are.
- For example, they will invite you to the hottest party in town, giving you the false impression that they are a fun person to hang out with, when in reality, they highly disapprove of people and look down upon those who go out late at night, drink or smoke, or who chose to spend their time hanging out with friends over their family.
- They will treat you like how you want to be treated – that is their way of luring you in. And the sad and unfortunate truth is that it works. It works so well in fact, that most people associated with such individuals will spend years upon years of long-lasting relationships with them (unbeknownst that they are actually their enemy in disguise) over those who would actually be good, true friends to them and those who actually do have their back. Let me explain by using a scenario:
- You: “Gosh, I’m so tired right now. It’s hard be up so early in the morning. By the way, how do I look in this dress?”
- Your friend, Sally: “Um, well, it’s a bit revealing. Aren’t you afraid you’ll get sent to the principle’s office? By the way – remember we have a chemistry test today – don’t forget to review your notes to refresh your memory.”
- The psychopath: “Hey girl, you look so gorgeous in that dress! You want a cup of coffee? Come on, let’s go to the coffee shop together and I’ll buy you some.”
- You: “Oh gee, that’s exactly what I need right now. Sure thing.”
- The psychopath takes you to Starbucks. Then “loses” track of time, “forgets her wallet at the store”, or some other excuse like that and “accidentally” makes you arrive back to class late so that you have missed half of your test-taking time and now are guaranteed to fail. But you, not knowing this was all intentional and planned out – because how are you to know what type of mental disorder she suffers from – are so grateful that she bought you a cup of coffee and for her generosity. Later on in the day you get sent to the principle’s office for “dress code violation” because apparently someone went and told the principle you were out of dress code. You come back after having gotten a detention slip, and the psychopath (who was the one who ratted you out to get you in trouble) is there waiting to “comfort” you in your time of distress.
- Now, from your perspective, she (the psychopath) is the true friend who is there for you when you are down. You seem to get along so well together. Why does dress code matter anyway? Your friend, Sally, would never understand – it’s too bad she’s not like your real friend here who took you to Starbucks this morning and told you what a douchbag the principle was for giving you detention.
- Most of the time, they don’t even feel ashamed of their negative actions. In fact, they feel entitled to mistreat you because they believe you are beneath them. It’s always “your fault”. Yes, they may have murdered someone, but would they have done that if you hadn’t made them so angry? Probably not. That is how their reasoning and their mind functions.
- Speak to others in a condescending and demeaning manner, making you feel inferior or ‘less than’. They are actually some of the most unintelligent people on the planet, or in other words – extremely stupid. Yet, they actually believe the opposite to be true.
- Extremely rude, have no manners, and nasty attitude
The Sociopath
- People are usually (naturally and instinctively) repulsed by them, therefore they constantly experience extremely high levels of rejection.
- This type of person displays a very confident external demeanor (they act confident), but their deepest held secret is that they are the most insecure person in the world. In fact, they go to extreme lengths to hide this truth from each and every single person on the planet – dead or alive. They feel so threatened of anyone finding out because to them, it would quite literally be/mean the end of the world as they know it.
- They actually respect people who are very authentic, who don’t try to sugar-coat things to try to make them feel better, but instead are up-front and honest with them. They see this as a test of having a genuinely good character and these are the only type of people whom they look up to. Those who try to lie about the fact that they don’t actually like them won’t get far with a sociopath because they can see through the BS in that regard – after all, they are so used to being rejected by people that it doesn’t come as a surprise that nobody likes them.
- Domineering and sadistic behavior towards individuals of the same gender.
- Prone to lashing out when they are experiencing high levels of hatred towards someone.
- Most would be surprised to discover that a sociopath actually abhors being in leadership positions or being the “front line” person so to speak. This is most especially true for female sociopaths. But they usually do find themselves in situations and circumstances where they are in fact put into that role or having to take on the responsibilities of those types of positions. Therefore, they usually also experience very high levels of stress.
- They are drawn to co-dependent relationship dynamics. With female sociopaths in particular, because they normally have to take on so much responsibility at work and in the external world so to speak, when it comes to partnerships, they would prefer to be dominated because they crave that feeling of protection and masculine energy which on a regular basis, they lack so much of in their lives.
- Sociopaths frequently experience and feel high levels of shame, knowing they have done wrong, even though they are experts at hiding it and normally ‘get away with it’. Although people don’t know what they have done, they can’t trick themselves into not knowing about it – and because they hate people like that, they develop hatred towards themselves.
- Racist and sexist mentality – they believe in the superiority of one/some races of people over others as well as one gender (whether it be male or female) over the other.
- Try to put you in a position of ‘needing them’ because that is the only way they can feel a sense of their own worth.
- Schizophrenic-like behavior when they feel out of control of their emotions like screaming at the top of their lungs (over something irrelevant or mundane which in their twisted mind is a huge deal) at you for long periods of time until they nearly pass out.
- They have impossible-to-reach standards and expectations of human behavior when it comes to other people. Basically, if you are not the image of perfection and a god-sent virtuous prophet who would take any amount of torture inflicted upon you with an attitude of forgiveness and gratitude, you have failed to meet their expectations and therefore you deserve to be punished. And not the “you’re in time out” type of punishment either – they believe ‘bad’ sins/wrongdoings should be punished in ways that are excruciatingly painful.
- One of their favorite abuse tactics is making you extremely depressed, anxious, fearful, angry, powerless, or some negative emotional state like that. And then, forcing you to keep the feelings bottled up and not be able to express them outwardly. One of the ways they accomplish this is lashing out at you as soon as any emotion arises within you to train your mind and body that doing that equates to pain. Or they will do this by capitalizing on some fear(s) that you have and inflict harm every time they see emotional expression from you to where naturally, your own mind and body learns that the only way to be “safe and protected” is through emotional suppression and repression. Now, the problem with this is that suppressing and repressing your emotions is actually one of the most dangerously unhealthy things you can do to yourself and your body. It gives rise to some of the most serious health problems and conditions including but not limited to – cancer, acne, multiple personality disorder, PTSD, and sociopathy to name just a few examples.
There is also a whole host of abusive tactics, behaviors, and tendencies which both the psychopath and the sociopath share in common. Here is a list of examples:
Behaviors/Traits which both the Sociopath and the Psychopath Engage in or Display
- Exploitation
- Brainwashing
- Gaslighting
- Blackmailing
- Backstabbing and Backbiting; Spreading rumors behind their victim’s backs as a tactic to ruin their reputation, get them in trouble, and/or destroy their connection and relationships with others.
- Bullying
- Intentionally shaming, embarrassing, and humiliating their victim
- Instilling fear within their victim(s)
- Verbal insults, threats, accusations, belittlement, etc.
- Physical abuse – slapping, pinching, punching, pushing, fighting, throwing large/heavy objects at their victims, etc.
- Low morals (or in some cases none at all)
- Total and complete hypocrites: Never mind the fact that they are always engaging in “bad” and “wrong” deeds. They say you just shouldn’t follow their example. They are extremely judgmental against those who drink, smoke, get bad grades, have bad work performance, get in trouble with the law, are disrespectful, and the list goes on and on. Then, the next thing you know, you find out they themselves smoke on a regular basis, fail at everything, lie, steal, cheat, etc. Basically, they are the definition of hypocrisy at its core.
A Metaphor/Analogy to Help you Visualize:
A sociopath is like a Nazi, whereas a psychopath is like Hitler. What’s the difference? Think back to the list of traits and behaviors we discussed above. Hitler, the psychopath, was actually the puppet. The sad truth is that Hitler actually had a hell of a lot of support, that is, the support of the entire Nazi party which at that point in time in history was comprised of a lot of folks – in other words, their screwed up ideals, thoughts, and beliefs was the ‘consensus’. Hitler gained the following, but at the end of the day, if it wasn’t for all the support he was receiving, Hitler couldn’t have actually had any power or held authority over the lives of so many people.
Think about that the next time you decide to follow or support someone whom you believe to know so much about. The truth is that as a society, we all need to get much better at really seeing people for who they truly are which can only be discovered by the ability to create deeper connections with people – rather than solely surface-level, meaningless ones. Our focus away from external facades and towards our genuine thoughts, feelings, and desires can go a long way to helping us get there.
Note: Most of this information came from my personal observations and experiences with these types of individuals. Therefore, it may not necessarily agree with current knowledge and understanding as far as existing information found in text, online, or in scientific research goes. I will try my best to expand further on some of the information I provided here in future articles. If you have any thoughts, questions, or feedback on this topic please feel free to leave a comment below.
